It's that time of year. We're seeing commercials for diet plans (even J. Simps. is on board with Weight Watchers), specials on Groupon for gym memberships, Marshall's is all stocked up on the cutest workout gear, and I personally just put away $60 worth of groceries in an effort to eat healthier and make more green smoothies that I've seen on Pinterest (like this holiday detox smoothie or these tasty cleanses).
So as we move toward Juanuary 5th, the much-anticipated season premiere of The Bachelor, I think it's time to think about the resolutions that the ladeez of the Bachelor should make, resolutions that Juan Pablo should make, and resolutions we as faithful fans should make. Let's break it down for the top 10 Bachelor Resolutions of 2014:
10. FANS: Follow more delightfully hilarious tweeters while watching The Bachelor (for starters: @TheFinalRose, @ChrisMFHarrison, @julietlitman, and @jenniferweiner....oh yeah and @katmurphy429). AND, engage in the conversation. Make it your life goal to have your tweet featured on the bottom of the screen. Dream BIG!
9. LADEEZ: On the Twitter front, let's not do nasty things or be so mean that folks create tierrable hashtags or handles in your name. I'm looking at you @tiearraseyebrow.
8. JP: Keep your shirt on. Sometimes. We had a little too much of Sean last season, and while that's all he really had going for him (besides his homemade furniture which you can find here), it was a little much.
6. LADEEZ: Don't go skinnydipping (with or without JP). It's not classy. The other women will hate you. And in the end you will end up like Courtney the (steinmart) Model. You may win the game but you will not win his love. Just his man bits.
5. JP: We all know you have a type. It's oh-so-obvious from the lineup. But please, give the blondes a chance.
4. FANS: Stay true to the surprise ending. Stop reading Reality Steve (love you, Steve). Don't read the tabloids when you're in line at the grocery store. JUST DON"T. Make a bet with your gal pals, watch each episode with anticipation and suspense, and be overwhelmed by the outcome, talking incessantly about it for days.
3. LADEEZ: Don't sell out. Just don't do it. Remember the woman last year who said she wouldn't kiss Sean because of her family's conservative values. Many fans thought she was nuts. But I say, you do you! She sold out and Sean didn't even take her home that night. Stay strong, ladies.
2. JP: Do not exploit your child like our favorite Bachelorette mom, Emily. If your first date has anything to do with baking cookies together or babysitting, I might stop watching. Okay, I won't. But I will be jaded (moreso than before).
1. LADEEZ: Make sure you are awesome and exciting. We need a solid choice for The Bachelorette. Really, it's been a while. So try to make it to the Top 5 and don't turn down the offer (unless you're really boring, then PLEASE run away). We all need some good entertainment in the summer.
I hope you all enjoyed these resolutions and will do your best to hold true to them. Make sure to follow me on Twitter and stay tuned for some live tweeting on Juanuary 5th!
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