Size 10 and Eggs

The info ABC collects for the Bachelor/ette contestant bios gets increasingly weird. This season, it's going to a whole new level. I know that when I'm looking for a potential mate, there are two things I just have to know:

1. Shoe size
2. Favorite breakfast foods

Also magazines. Tell me about your mags, yo. Like Chris, you read those farming magazines--can't name one--but you sure do like 'em. I mean, we all know this show is a joke, but come on.

These bros--I just can't. Let's talk about what not to put out there for the entire nation (read: rather small Bachelorette viewership) to know:

• That you once puked on a girl. Ew. Gross. Stop.
• That your greatest accomplishment is getting two hole-in-ones....which should actually be "holes-in-one"
• That you hope to change the world by singing or snowboarding
• That you don't have a real job. "Former (insert impressive job here)" and "Explorer" are not careers. Unless you qualify to be on the show Naked and Afraid.
• That you refer to your body as a Mercedes. There are certainly better cars out there, bro.

It's sure to be an interesting season on The Bachelorette. With all that stubble and all those tight to-shirts, we're in for one mildly poignant summer promising true love, the right reasons, and the most dramatic season yet!

Now, you're in for a treat! My favorite podcast hosts/Bachelor/ette experts have filmed a breakdown fo this season's cast. Watch. Enjoy. Study up.

See you on Monday night!