April Showers Bring May Flowers...Roses to be Exact

Wow. I'm terrible at keeping up my own blog. I say this every time, but I promise to maintain this a little more.

The good news is that I've been blogging for BadYogi which has been pretty fun. You should check out my posts about insecurities, how to do yoga at work, and aerial yoga. And definitely check out my pal Lisa's posts on gratitude and free yoga. I'm going to try to bring more of that type of writing into this blog.

But really, I'm very excited that the Roses are back May 23rd with the premiere of The Bachelorette with Jojo as our leading lady. I'm hoping my SkimmAhead calendar will lock it into my phone soon. I've been known to turn down social invitations on Bach nights. We've all got priorities.

So that's it. I'm going to keep it short and sweet. Hopefully Bach Bios will be posted soon and we can let the ridiculing begin!

Girls just want to have fun

Friends, it happened, Lesley came back! Our favorite bachelor contestant from Sean's season accompanied winner, Catherine and the victimized-by-Regina George (AKA Tierra), Jackie. The ladies dished about the guys, spied on them with binoculars and asked Des all kinds of juicy questions! Clearly, this was the most fun we've had on the Bachelorette all season. Why couldn't lesley have been the bachelorette?!

So here are some recaps on what's happened since my lazy self last blogged:

• Juan Pablo went home during soccer week. SOCCERWEEK!? The pro player couldn't score with Des. Plus, he was a little too eager with the high-fives. Adios, Juan Pablo.

• BIG NEWS: Mikey T and James are here for the wrong reasons. Apparently, Drew and #Kasey overheard the two Chicago meatheads talking about what life would be like for them after the Bachelorette in the Windy City. They would take tall women out on boats for intimate settings. They basically run that town anyway. Oh good gracious! The house was a ll a-twitter about this development. Mikey T went home before Des was given the news. James remained another week.
• Drew broke the heartbreaking news about James to Des after a hot, back-against-the-wall-in-a-deserted-alley kiss. Way to kill the mood, dude! Des (and the dudes) confront James. To be fair, James was classier than most, but eventually he was sent packing.

Hometown dates are next week! We'll watch Naked Zak, Handsome Drew, Chris the other Dad, and Brooks with the Hair in their producer-created "natural" habitats. Oh, I just can't wait!

Bi-Weekly Bachelorette and Tony Danza

So I have resigned myself to the fact that this Bachelorette blog is going to be bi-weekly at best. I'm starting graduate school (plus an assistantship) soon and let's face it, this is as good as it's gonna get.

Now, let's recap some highs and lows of the past two weeks:

Brad-Brian-Ben-Brandon....one of the B guys went home because he had a "girlfriend" -- or, as far as we can determine, psychopathic bed partner--back home. She actually came ON the show. Needless to say, Des did not care to define the relationship, and she sent yet-unknown B guy packing. You never want to leave in the van of shame.

We had our first "I love you," and the poor soul was also sent packing. At least he got the limo. The limo of shame is exceedingly better than the SUV/van of shame.

Last week we also had our first failed one-on-one date. It's rough went you can't prove yourself worthy of a rose without competition. Tough cookies, dude.

The Ben drama continues--he is severely hated by the other bros. I still think he's being made out to be the villain here, but let's face it: dude's annoying.

And what would the Bachelorette be without a contest group date? A painful re-creation of the Miss USA pageant. Oy! The hair, the makeup, the heels, the...speedos? Lots of man flesh visible. Lots of bad ribbon twirling and flexing. Lots of Mikey T waxing poetic about how he's more than just a chunk of meat.

And there you have it, folks! Two weeks of Bachelorette nonsense wrapped up in a few lines. It really is that boring of a season.

BUT the BIG NEWS:

Tony Danza will be the next season's Bachelor! No official word from ABC, but the buzz is this 62-year-old Who's the Boss, tap dancing fool is going to be giving out a lot of roses in the future. I'd really hate for the Bachelor to turn into "Dancing With the Stars" (AKA Dancing With the Once Moderately Well-Known). Hopefully, more news to come!

DIY Bachelorette Invites

So, my best friend is getting married in July! Naturally, I'm throwing her a bachelorette party! We're doing something a little different--going to paint pottery at this awesome place called Baked Goods in STL, grabbing dinner at a great Italian place called Gianino's, and then heading out for dancing and drinks at Jive & Wail.

While at Baked Goods, we'll be dong a personal shower and I cannot wait! Instead of just listing the bride's sizes on the invite (which I designed on Vistaprint--super easy, great price!), I thought I'd make a separate insert inspired by Pinterest.  Here's my take:

I got my supplies at Archiver's because I had a gift card. I was looking for pre-cut bras/panties or bra/panty stickers. Surprisingly, no such luck at the scrapbooking mecca. As I was on my lunch break (already running late), I had to improvise on the spot. So, I decided to make my own cutouts and get super crafty. To make 18 inserts I bought:

• 3-12" x 12" bachelorette themed, double-sided pieces of card stock
• 3-8.5" x 11" pink, raised dot pieces of card stock
• 1 Galaxy Marker in white

I cut the 12" x 12" paper into six 4" x 6" pieces. To make the bra and panty shapes, I folded a scrap piece of cardstock in half and free-handed half a bra and panty. This is not as easy as one might think--I am so not artsy. And clip art was no help! Thankfully these shapes are symmetrical so I only struggled through half the shape, knowing the other half would automatically match once cut. I think I ended up with a pretty good stencil:

I then traced eighteen of these prototypes (folded in half) along the fold of a strip of the pink paper. Then I cut them out. A lot of cutting. Are scissor hands a real thing? Like tennis elbow?

Glue each bra and panty (glue sticks work best in my experience).to a piece of the 4" x 6" paper and decorate with the galaxy marker. I wrote the sizes on the bra and panty and then decorated with some dots. Here's the finished product:

I typed up registry info and pasted it on the back too--in case someone didn't want to go the lingerie route. It's important to make guests comfortable!

If you're super crafty/techy, you could probably make a template that is printable. I encourage you to do so, but I know that each of my invites look unique and that's kind of cool!