Girls just want to have fun

Friends, it happened, Lesley came back! Our favorite bachelor contestant from Sean's season accompanied winner, Catherine and the victimized-by-Regina George (AKA Tierra), Jackie. The ladies dished about the guys, spied on them with binoculars and asked Des all kinds of juicy questions! Clearly, this was the most fun we've had on the Bachelorette all season. Why couldn't lesley have been the bachelorette?!

So here are some recaps on what's happened since my lazy self last blogged:

• Juan Pablo went home during soccer week. SOCCERWEEK!? The pro player couldn't score with Des. Plus, he was a little too eager with the high-fives. Adios, Juan Pablo.

• BIG NEWS: Mikey T and James are here for the wrong reasons. Apparently, Drew and #Kasey overheard the two Chicago meatheads talking about what life would be like for them after the Bachelorette in the Windy City. They would take tall women out on boats for intimate settings. They basically run that town anyway. Oh good gracious! The house was a ll a-twitter about this development. Mikey T went home before Des was given the news. James remained another week.
• Drew broke the heartbreaking news about James to Des after a hot, back-against-the-wall-in-a-deserted-alley kiss. Way to kill the mood, dude! Des (and the dudes) confront James. To be fair, James was classier than most, but eventually he was sent packing.

Hometown dates are next week! We'll watch Naked Zak, Handsome Drew, Chris the other Dad, and Brooks with the Hair in their producer-created "natural" habitats. Oh, I just can't wait!

Bi-Weekly Bachelorette and Tony Danza

So I have resigned myself to the fact that this Bachelorette blog is going to be bi-weekly at best. I'm starting graduate school (plus an assistantship) soon and let's face it, this is as good as it's gonna get.

Now, let's recap some highs and lows of the past two weeks:

Brad-Brian-Ben-Brandon....one of the B guys went home because he had a "girlfriend" -- or, as far as we can determine, psychopathic bed partner--back home. She actually came ON the show. Needless to say, Des did not care to define the relationship, and she sent yet-unknown B guy packing. You never want to leave in the van of shame.

We had our first "I love you," and the poor soul was also sent packing. At least he got the limo. The limo of shame is exceedingly better than the SUV/van of shame.

Last week we also had our first failed one-on-one date. It's rough went you can't prove yourself worthy of a rose without competition. Tough cookies, dude.

The Ben drama continues--he is severely hated by the other bros. I still think he's being made out to be the villain here, but let's face it: dude's annoying.

And what would the Bachelorette be without a contest group date? A painful re-creation of the Miss USA pageant. Oy! The hair, the makeup, the heels, the...speedos? Lots of man flesh visible. Lots of bad ribbon twirling and flexing. Lots of Mikey T waxing poetic about how he's more than just a chunk of meat.

And there you have it, folks! Two weeks of Bachelorette nonsense wrapped up in a few lines. It really is that boring of a season.

BUT the BIG NEWS:

Tony Danza will be the next season's Bachelor! No official word from ABC, but the buzz is this 62-year-old Who's the Boss, tap dancing fool is going to be giving out a lot of roses in the future. I'd really hate for the Bachelor to turn into "Dancing With the Stars" (AKA Dancing With the Once Moderately Well-Known). Hopefully, more news to come!

A Bachelor Birthday

My birthday was Monday and it was very fun indeed. Who knew turning 24 would be this awesome? I came into my office which was decorated by my lovely co-workers:

My dear boyfriend made my morning bright by sending me several cute birthday messages. He even got Joakim Noah (my favorite Bulls player) to wish me a happy birthday! Okay. Maybe it wasn't for ME, but still.

We went out to lunch at one of my favorite Aurora restaurants: Jake's Bagels & Deli. Seriously, if you're ever in Aurora, IL, check it out! It's right across from the train station. Of course, Dana wanted to take me for coffee, so we headed to Starbucks for a little afternoon jolt before our staff meeting. Want to know the way to my heart? Coffee.

After my staff meeting, I headed over to my other office on campus to find my co-workers waiting with treats and a card! I work with such great people!

Then the main event: birthday dinner with the boyfriend. He came over early so I could open my presents before dinner. He'd been talking them up for a while now and was really proud of his "theme" for the gifts. First: a cute pair of nautical earrings (Second way to my heart: all things nautical) and a fun warm-weather scarf (he learned from Moneyball that a good gift for a lady is a "decorative" scarf). Second: a bottle of Sauvignon Blanc. Third: a bottle of Chardonnay.

I'm sitting there trying to guess the theme. Are we going to California? A cruise? Are we going to drink so much that I'll feel like I'm on a boat? Then he explains. The wine is from Envolve Winery. This may sound familiar to those die-hard bachelor fans--yep, that's Ben's winery! And the earrings and scarf? From a litttle online shop called TheFactoryGirl.com. Remember Sean from last season's Bachelor? Remember how he is a "custom furniture maker" now? Well, it turns out he co-owns the store! How cool is that?! It's like I got a little piece of Ben AND Sean for my birthday--even though I'm more than happy with my own bachelor!

After gifts, we made our way to the Turf Room--another excellent restaurant in Aurora! Delicious food, romantic atmosphere, and yummy drinks!

It was quite a day! I felt like a princess and it was far better than any hokey "fairytale" date on the Bachelor!