Wow. I'm terrible at keeping up my own blog. I say this every time, but I promise to maintain this a little more.
The good news is that I've been blogging for BadYogi which has been pretty fun. You should check out my posts about insecurities, how to do yoga at work, and aerial yoga. And definitely check out my pal Lisa's posts on gratitude and free yoga. I'm going to try to bring more of that type of writing into this blog.
But really, I'm very excited that the Roses are back May 23rd with the premiere of The Bachelorette with Jojo as our leading lady. I'm hoping my SkimmAhead calendar will lock it into my phone soon. I've been known to turn down social invitations on Bach nights. We've all got priorities.
So that's it. I'm going to keep it short and sweet. Hopefully Bach Bios will be posted soon and we can let the ridiculing begin!
Friday, April 22, 2016
Monday, January 4, 2016
Back in Action: The Bachelor 2016
It's been a while since my last post. A couple of years in fact. A lot has happened: finished graduate school, started a new job in Chicago, got married, and adopted a dog. It's been busy, thsu my lack of attention paid to the blog.
But that all changes (hopefully) now with the new season of The Bach.
Unfortunately, my commentary is not as informed due to the shutdown of Grantland and the Right Reasons Podcast, but I'm hoping my insights will suffice.
The women this year. Ah, the women. Being a feminist and a believer that tearing others down only makes you look small, I'll try my hardest to be nice. Ish. But it's the Bachelor. And we've all got to be real.
First, let's talk Ben Higgins (or more affectionately known as Ben H. from Kaitlyn's season). Ah, Ben H. The outdoorsy, quiet guy from Denver whom everyone (including a co-worker who I promise not to name) loves. He's cute and seems nice, but I don't quite understand all the hubbub. Maybe it's these newlywed rose-colored glasses? I'm sure he's a catch.
We've got some promising leads. Personally, my top five are:
1. Leah
2. Becca
3. Breanne
4. Jessica
5. Olivia
These women are smart, sweet, and seem the most down-to-earth (which I think is what is so charming and appealing about Ben). But they're probably more of a reflection of whom I'd choose to hang with. So we'll see.
Who are the women to watch this season?
The Twins
This is such a trope but not one that will last I think. Meet Emily and Haley I have them staying past round one in my Bachelor Bracket but I don't think they'll survive much longer than that. Also, they each have listed "Twin" as their occupation. I never thought of listing "Only Child" as my occupation but I'm updating my resume as we speak.
The Chicken Enthusiast
Oh dear. Tiara just loves chickens. It's a little concerning. I have feeling her first impression gimmick will be to gift Ben one of her beloved chickens. Or an egg. Maybe we'll even get to see her wrangle one?
The Veterans
Not talking about Jubilee who is an actual veteran. But Becca and Amber--both of Bachelor fame. Amber's a bit tainted with Bachelor in Paradise stank but Becca is still the sweet, fun-loving gal who just hasn't found the right man (BTW she's a virgin but not an Ashley-I-my-identity-is-being-a-virgin). Will Ben be the one for her?
There you have it. I had more elaborate plans for this first post but maybe more after week one. This week I'm busy trying to meal prep for a new cleanse, clean up my Christmas decorations, host book club, and prepare for guests (fellow Bachelor fan, Lisa and her man, Will) who are coming this weekend.
But that all changes (hopefully) now with the new season of The Bach.
Unfortunately, my commentary is not as informed due to the shutdown of Grantland and the Right Reasons Podcast, but I'm hoping my insights will suffice.
The women this year. Ah, the women. Being a feminist and a believer that tearing others down only makes you look small, I'll try my hardest to be nice. Ish. But it's the Bachelor. And we've all got to be real.
First, let's talk Ben Higgins (or more affectionately known as Ben H. from Kaitlyn's season). Ah, Ben H. The outdoorsy, quiet guy from Denver whom everyone (including a co-worker who I promise not to name) loves. He's cute and seems nice, but I don't quite understand all the hubbub. Maybe it's these newlywed rose-colored glasses? I'm sure he's a catch.
We've got some promising leads. Personally, my top five are:
1. Leah
2. Becca
3. Breanne
4. Jessica
5. Olivia
These women are smart, sweet, and seem the most down-to-earth (which I think is what is so charming and appealing about Ben). But they're probably more of a reflection of whom I'd choose to hang with. So we'll see.
Who are the women to watch this season?
The Twins
This is such a trope but not one that will last I think. Meet Emily and Haley I have them staying past round one in my Bachelor Bracket but I don't think they'll survive much longer than that. Also, they each have listed "Twin" as their occupation. I never thought of listing "Only Child" as my occupation but I'm updating my resume as we speak.
The Chicken Enthusiast
Oh dear. Tiara just loves chickens. It's a little concerning. I have feeling her first impression gimmick will be to gift Ben one of her beloved chickens. Or an egg. Maybe we'll even get to see her wrangle one?
The Veterans
Not talking about Jubilee who is an actual veteran. But Becca and Amber--both of Bachelor fame. Amber's a bit tainted with Bachelor in Paradise stank but Becca is still the sweet, fun-loving gal who just hasn't found the right man (BTW she's a virgin but not an Ashley-I-my-identity-is-being-a-virgin). Will Ben be the one for her?
There you have it. I had more elaborate plans for this first post but maybe more after week one. This week I'm busy trying to meal prep for a new cleanse, clean up my Christmas decorations, host book club, and prepare for guests (fellow Bachelor fan, Lisa and her man, Will) who are coming this weekend.
Sunday, May 18, 2014
Size 10 and Eggs
The info ABC collects for the Bachelor/ette contestant bios gets increasingly weird. This season, it's going to a whole new level. I know that when I'm looking for a potential mate, there are two things I just have to know:
- Shoe size
- Favorite breakfast foods
Also magazines. Tell me about your mags, yo. Like Chris, you read those farming magazines--can't name one--but you sure do like 'em. I mean, we all know this show is a joke, but come on.
These bros--I just can't. Let's talk about what not to put out there for the entire nation (read: rather small Bachelorette viewership) to know:
- That you once puked on a girl. Ew. Gross. Stop.
- That your greatest accomplishment is getting two hole-in-ones....which should actually be "holes-in-one"
- That you hope to change the world by singing or snowboarding
- That you don't have a real job. "Former (insert impressive job here)" and "Explorer" are not careers. Unless you qualify to be on the show Naked and Afraid.
- That you refer to your body as a Mercedes. There are certainly better cars out there, bro.
It's sure to be an interesting season on The Bachelorette. With all that stubble and all those tight to-shirts, we're in for one mildly poignant summer promising true love, the right reasons, and the most dramatic season yet!
Now, you're in for a treat! My favorite podcast hosts/Bachelor/ette experts have filmed a breakdown fo this season's cast. Watch. Enjoy. Study up.
See you on Monday night!
Thursday, May 15, 2014
Tea Time!
Ok. I know.Could I be any lazier!? (read in Chandler's voice).
I haven't exactly been lazy. Just crazy busy with life, school, and work. But, it's almost summer break and while I'll still be working a ton, I won't have that pesky homework monkey on my back.
This March, I helped host a baby shower for my beautiful friend, Jen. You know how much I love a good hand-crafted invite, right? If you don't, check out these baby shower invites and these bachelorette invites. So of course, amid mid-terms and a busy month with work, I decided it would be a GREAT idea to make hand-crafted invites for Jen's shower.
Jen's shower had a tea party theme for her baby girl. The idea for the invites shifted and transformed a few times before I bought all of my supplies for the final project, and I was able to cut a few corners with pre-cut paper and printed script/images.
Here's what I bought:
I created the teacup, tea bag, and text on the back using basic Microsoft word functions and downloading some fun fonts. I printed and cut everything first and piled it all together to make a kind of assembly line.
Now came time to put it all together. In order to fit the pull-out "tea bag" in the cup, make sure you only glue the outer edge of the cup. See below.
Once assembly is done, voila! You have the cutest tea party invitations! Just pop them in an envelope and send them on their way!
Jen's mom and aunt did such a great job with the shower! It was so stinking cute! They even got the dog to dress up. To add a finishing touch to the event, I decided to make a "guest book" that could be hung in baby's nursery. Knowing that the decor was grey and pink, I followed the theme and bought pink paper in gradual shades to make an ombre heart guest book. I cut out hearts in each shade and layered them accordingly on a grey piece of scrapbook paper. Once everyone signed it, I popped it into a white frame. It turned out so cute and will make a great decoration for baby's room!
I haven't exactly been lazy. Just crazy busy with life, school, and work. But, it's almost summer break and while I'll still be working a ton, I won't have that pesky homework monkey on my back.
This March, I helped host a baby shower for my beautiful friend, Jen. You know how much I love a good hand-crafted invite, right? If you don't, check out these baby shower invites and these bachelorette invites. So of course, amid mid-terms and a busy month with work, I decided it would be a GREAT idea to make hand-crafted invites for Jen's shower.
Jen's shower had a tea party theme for her baby girl. The idea for the invites shifted and transformed a few times before I bought all of my supplies for the final project, and I was able to cut a few corners with pre-cut paper and printed script/images.
Here's what I bought:
- Acid-free glue sticks
- White string
- Craft & White Mat Stack (see below)
- White cardstock
 |
| Mat Stack from Michael's |
I created the teacup, tea bag, and text on the back using basic Microsoft word functions and downloading some fun fonts. I printed and cut everything first and piled it all together to make a kind of assembly line.
Now came time to put it all together. In order to fit the pull-out "tea bag" in the cup, make sure you only glue the outer edge of the cup. See below.
Once assembly is done, voila! You have the cutest tea party invitations! Just pop them in an envelope and send them on their way!
Jen's mom and aunt did such a great job with the shower! It was so stinking cute! They even got the dog to dress up. To add a finishing touch to the event, I decided to make a "guest book" that could be hung in baby's nursery. Knowing that the decor was grey and pink, I followed the theme and bought pink paper in gradual shades to make an ombre heart guest book. I cut out hearts in each shade and layered them accordingly on a grey piece of scrapbook paper. Once everyone signed it, I popped it into a white frame. It turned out so cute and will make a great decoration for baby's room!
Here are some great pics from the shower. It was a great success and a lot of fun!
Monday, January 20, 2014
Topless Winter Wonderland (AKA the worst first dates ever)
Oh dear, what whirlwind of a week! I've just re-started classes and work is quite busy, so sorry for the down-to-the-wire post. I'm personally more impressed that I'm actually getting a post out at all this week. We all know how I fell off the wagon this summer...
So let's get to it. Three dates this week: two one-on-ones and a group date, inevitably leaving some ladies without a date (womp, womp). The first date: a fake winter wonderland. Really?! You're in LA. Enjoy it! You want snow? Fly somewhere! Shocking how much ABC probably spent on piping in this snow instead of jetting off to the mountains in the Northwest. Clare (AKA fake preggers) got this date and of course got a rose. It's too early for JP to send someone home on a one-on-one. Save that for Week 4.
Date Two took place in Salt Lake City, Utah. No offense to my Utah native friends, but really? Utah? Also, whoever thinks running a 5k (albeit a fun one) on a first date is a good idea, when you have no idea if your date even likes to run, is a fool. At least she got a cute light-up running outfit. and a rose.
The group date was a hot mess. Simply the worst. It was like mixing America's Next Top Model with the Bachelor without Tyra or Ms. J. It just didn't work. Cute concept: let's save the puppies and dress up to take photos, but in reality it was just bad. And who asks these ladies to get "naked" (rumor has it they weren't really naked) on the first date in front of the competition? And of course a hot mess of a date has to culminate in a crazy drunk lady leaving the show. Welcome to Brazil!.....more like Welcome to CrazyTown!
Other notables from this episode:
-Apparently you need to watch the Sunday night special or you miss things like date cards
-I've noticed an increase use of the word "adventure" and less use of the word "journey." Someone needs to adjust the rules to the Bachelor Drinking Game
-Lucy has a penchant for going topless. Figures.
-Quote of the Night: "if Juan Pablo is mine, I'm going to straddle him everyday. Because that is what life's about. Straddling people...and things" -Victoria
Until next time, y'all! Happy watching!
So let's get to it. Three dates this week: two one-on-ones and a group date, inevitably leaving some ladies without a date (womp, womp). The first date: a fake winter wonderland. Really?! You're in LA. Enjoy it! You want snow? Fly somewhere! Shocking how much ABC probably spent on piping in this snow instead of jetting off to the mountains in the Northwest. Clare (AKA fake preggers) got this date and of course got a rose. It's too early for JP to send someone home on a one-on-one. Save that for Week 4.
Date Two took place in Salt Lake City, Utah. No offense to my Utah native friends, but really? Utah? Also, whoever thinks running a 5k (albeit a fun one) on a first date is a good idea, when you have no idea if your date even likes to run, is a fool. At least she got a cute light-up running outfit. and a rose.
The group date was a hot mess. Simply the worst. It was like mixing America's Next Top Model with the Bachelor without Tyra or Ms. J. It just didn't work. Cute concept: let's save the puppies and dress up to take photos, but in reality it was just bad. And who asks these ladies to get "naked" (rumor has it they weren't really naked) on the first date in front of the competition? And of course a hot mess of a date has to culminate in a crazy drunk lady leaving the show. Welcome to Brazil!.....more like Welcome to CrazyTown!
Other notables from this episode:
-Apparently you need to watch the Sunday night special or you miss things like date cards
-I've noticed an increase use of the word "adventure" and less use of the word "journey." Someone needs to adjust the rules to the Bachelor Drinking Game
-Lucy has a penchant for going topless. Figures.
-Quote of the Night: "if Juan Pablo is mine, I'm going to straddle him everyday. Because that is what life's about. Straddling people...and things" -Victoria
Until next time, y'all! Happy watching!
Tuesday, January 7, 2014
Sing me a song, you're the piano(wo)man
And so it begins! After Sunday night's tease "first part of the two-part premiere" (I'm looking at you, Chris Harrison. Why do I fall for your tricks every time?), I was amped up for Monday. I mean, it was the coldest day on record in Chicago in over forty years and I just had my first full day back at work--I needed a little entertainment while snuggled beneath my ducky blanket on the couch. And man, did Chris Harrison deliver this time!
We first found Sean Lowe giving JP "tips." Sean, take a tip from JP and be more interesting. You are boring. But no one is complaining about seeing you and JP shirtless so all is forgiven.
Then of course we saw some video bios of a few of the ladies (how are these chosen anyway?). Most were cute and silly, with the outrageous exception of Amy the Masseuse/pornstar. Yikes! I felt like I was watching an adult film yet everyone was clothed. Red flag. We have our first crazy lady.
Move on to the ladies in the limos. Oy, the giggles and squeals make the hair stand up on your neck but might I say my dear friend/co-watcher and I were equally giggly and squeally. JP can work a suit. And so can Chris Harrison. It was just too much.
Our first interesting character was Lauren the pianist/composer. She came in on a bicycle piano. A BICYCLE PIANO. Ladies, she came in playing hardball. Forgot to introduce herself, but hey. You're "piano girl" now. It's basically like being Wonder Woman.
We had some other crazies: barefoot woman (AKA hippie, AKA raincloud), "Certified Dog Lover" (and dog), fishing hook, soccer star, and fake preggers. Not surprisingly, a few of the token crazies stayed. You have to build in a little entertainment, right?
I can't wait to see how this season will turn out now! Sadly, I have class duirng the live show, so I'll be catching up on Tuesdays (whomp, whomp) but I'll be sure to share my thoughts here!
Happy Bachelor-ing!
We first found Sean Lowe giving JP "tips." Sean, take a tip from JP and be more interesting. You are boring. But no one is complaining about seeing you and JP shirtless so all is forgiven.
Then of course we saw some video bios of a few of the ladies (how are these chosen anyway?). Most were cute and silly, with the outrageous exception of Amy the Masseuse/pornstar. Yikes! I felt like I was watching an adult film yet everyone was clothed. Red flag. We have our first crazy lady.
Move on to the ladies in the limos. Oy, the giggles and squeals make the hair stand up on your neck but might I say my dear friend/co-watcher and I were equally giggly and squeally. JP can work a suit. And so can Chris Harrison. It was just too much.
Our first interesting character was Lauren the pianist/composer. She came in on a bicycle piano. A BICYCLE PIANO. Ladies, she came in playing hardball. Forgot to introduce herself, but hey. You're "piano girl" now. It's basically like being Wonder Woman.
We had some other crazies: barefoot woman (AKA hippie, AKA raincloud), "Certified Dog Lover" (and dog), fishing hook, soccer star, and fake preggers. Not surprisingly, a few of the token crazies stayed. You have to build in a little entertainment, right?
I can't wait to see how this season will turn out now! Sadly, I have class duirng the live show, so I'll be catching up on Tuesdays (whomp, whomp) but I'll be sure to share my thoughts here!
Happy Bachelor-ing!
Thursday, January 2, 2014
New Year's Resolutions: Bachelor Style
It's that time of year. We're seeing commercials for diet plans (even J. Simps. is on board with Weight Watchers), specials on Groupon for gym memberships, Marshall's is all stocked up on the cutest workout gear, and I personally just put away $60 worth of groceries in an effort to eat healthier and make more green smoothies that I've seen on Pinterest (like this holiday detox smoothie or these tasty cleanses).
So as we move toward Juanuary 5th, the much-anticipated season premiere of The Bachelor, I think it's time to think about the resolutions that the ladeez of the Bachelor should make, resolutions that Juan Pablo should make, and resolutions we as faithful fans should make. Let's break it down for the top 10 Bachelor Resolutions of 2014:
10. FANS: Follow more delightfully hilarious tweeters while watching The Bachelor (for starters: @TheFinalRose, @ChrisMFHarrison, @julietlitman, and @jenniferweiner....oh yeah and @katmurphy429). AND, engage in the conversation. Make it your life goal to have your tweet featured on the bottom of the screen. Dream BIG!
9. LADEEZ: On the Twitter front, let's not do nasty things or be so mean that folks create tierrable hashtags or handles in your name. I'm looking at you @tiearraseyebrow.
8. JP: Keep your shirt on. Sometimes. We had a little too much of Sean last season, and while that's all he really had going for him (besides his homemade furniture which you can find here), it was a little much.
6. LADEEZ: Don't go skinnydipping (with or without JP). It's not classy. The other women will hate you. And in the end you will end up like Courtney the (steinmart) Model. You may win the game but you will not win his love. Just his man bits.
5. JP: We all know you have a type. It's oh-so-obvious from the lineup. But please, give the blondes a chance.
4. FANS: Stay true to the surprise ending. Stop reading Reality Steve (love you, Steve). Don't read the tabloids when you're in line at the grocery store. JUST DON"T. Make a bet with your gal pals, watch each episode with anticipation and suspense, and be overwhelmed by the outcome, talking incessantly about it for days.
3. LADEEZ: Don't sell out. Just don't do it. Remember the woman last year who said she wouldn't kiss Sean because of her family's conservative values. Many fans thought she was nuts. But I say, you do you! She sold out and Sean didn't even take her home that night. Stay strong, ladies.
2. JP: Do not exploit your child like our favorite Bachelorette mom, Emily. If your first date has anything to do with baking cookies together or babysitting, I might stop watching. Okay, I won't. But I will be jaded (moreso than before).
1. LADEEZ: Make sure you are awesome and exciting. We need a solid choice for The Bachelorette. Really, it's been a while. So try to make it to the Top 5 and don't turn down the offer (unless you're really boring, then PLEASE run away). We all need some good entertainment in the summer.
I hope you all enjoyed these resolutions and will do your best to hold true to them. Make sure to follow me on Twitter and stay tuned for some live tweeting on Juanuary 5th!
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